There’s something wildly life-affirming about desire - not the calculated kind, but that deep, all-consuming hunger for more. Whenever I hear someone say, “I don’t want anything anymore,” a quiet bell goes off in my mind. To me, that’s often the first signal of melancholy settling in - or apathy, or the heavy cloak of quiet depression. Even fatigue can sound like that. When desire disappears, vitality tends to follow. That’s when I start wondering how to show up for that person.
I, on the other hand, have always carried a pulse of hunger in me. With wanting, dreaming, yearning. From a very early age, I imagined a life that would be not quite ordinary. I think I was five when I started what today we’d label “manifesting.” Back then, of course, it was just daydreaming but who’s to say there wasn’t a little spellcasting in it, too? Maybe I was already channeling today’s self-help language, only without the hashtags and ring lights.
Sometimes I want something so badly that no amount of fear or risk can stop me. That’s when the fire overrides everything. It’s not always smooth sailing - I’ve landed in some very complicated chapters (and still do, thank you very much). But even in the mess, I burn with desires, dreams and aspirations. And yes, let’s not pretend: this sentence is laced with more than a little erotic energy. But hey — it’s true.
In 2015, I found myself on a winding trip through Georgia - the country, not the state - and I fell in love. Hard. For a while, I even called myself a victim of Georgian charm. In hindsight, I could give you a tidy bullet-point list of why it enchanted me so thoroughly. But maybe next time.
I vividly remember sitting in the stunning mountain-lodge aesthetic dream that is Rooms Hotel in Kazbegi, and writing my very first I want… list. I even shared it on Facebook back then (yes, edited version of course). For someone like me - fiercely private, fiercely allergic to anything that smells of public vulnerability - this was a small act of rebellion. A soft but clear opening.
It’s been ten years now. I haven’t touched Facebook in ages, but every April, without fail, I still write my I want… list. It’s become a quiet ritual. The list has only one rule: anything goes, and as much of it as I please. No edits, no logic, no shame. Just uncensored desires.
I want…
… to do sport four times a week
… to write a book
… to have 30 art advisory clients per year
… a strong professional reputation — and a personal brand that speaks for itself
… $1M in net annual income
… to run every morning
… to live in a steady 36–38 EU size
… to ride a Vespa, effortlessly chic, helmet and all
… TAAD to hit a $150M+ valuation
… to love - and be deeply loved
… to speak fluent Hebrew
… to own properties in Paris and Como
… to close TAAD’s seed round with grace and power (asap!)
… a European passport
… a creative office in Milan in crazy palazzo for the wildest ideas
… to catch the eye of those I find magnetic
… to be a femme fatale (in my own way)
… to be profiled in The New York Times and HTSI
… to always have an orgasm (yes, always)
… to travel only business class - no apologies
… to manage anxiety with softness and strength
… to be financially savvy and awake
… to live debt-free
… to confidently walk up to men I find interesting - offline
… for my partner to see me as the love of his life
… to meet my person, fall into mutual love, and build a family
… to be a successful entrepreneur
… to get laser-sharp on team profiling
… to step away from CEO and fully into Chief Creative Officer at TAAD
… to build a collection of works by female artists
… to cook like Ottolenghi (or at least close)
… those Prada Saffiano and suede Buckle bags
… to visit Morocco, Mexico, South Africa, Japan, and the Maldives
… to take the Bernina Express
… to work four days a week - and one research day
… to have three children
… to study at Harvard (for real!)
… those Chloe Suzanne ankle boots with the studs
… a dishwasher that actually works
… to master the art of holding boundaries - and showing vulnerability
… to act, always, from kindness
My alter ego — one of many, honestly (how many alter-egos is too many?) — Mrs. Maisel, once shouted it perfectly: “I want a big life! I want to experience everything! I want to break every single rule!”
Same. Deeply, achingly — same.
But this line strikes even deeper: ambition is an unattractive trait in a woman. I’ve lived the truth of that one too. At one point, I even made a deliberate, painful choice: to sacrifice my love life just so all my dreams could come true.
Now? I’m not so sure that was necessary. But I know for sure: an extraordinary life will always be coupled with an extraordinary effort. And that doesn’t have to mean sacrificing what makes it feel full.
DREAM! DREAM BIG!
Meanwhile, I just started reading The Husbands by Holly Gramazio. I honestly can’t remember why I skipped over my carefully planned reading list and dove into this one — but by Chapter 3, I can say: it’s good. TV-wise, Four Seasons deliver serious Shabbat comfort viewing, but what really has me buzzing is the return of Poker Face.
And the big highlight of the week? Emma Grede has launched a podcast! It’s called Aspire and it hits exactly the sweet spot I didn’t know I needed — that constant reminder that every entrepreneur, even Gwyneth Paltrow-level ones, wrestles with the same chaos, doubt, and imposter syndrome as the rest of us.
Take this week gently. Daydream more.
We’ll talk soon.
Yours,
Miri
Dear Miri,
Esther Perel talks about "owning the wanting" - allowing oneself to have and embrace one's desires. It is indeed "a small act of rebellion" as you succinctly put it in this newsletter, and a crucially important one at that. Thank you for writing honestly, personally, very openly about the root of your desires. Exploring (or at least witnessing) another's motivation invites one to take a closer look at their own, reminds one that irrespective of the circumstances we can always daydream.